“One must blog,” I keep hearing. “People need to/want to/should get to know you.”
To which my first reaction is overwhelming panic. It’s immediately followed by the urge to retreat somewhere dark, silent and private–quickly.
I know there are a lot of authors within this bizarre calling that are more than thrilled with the limelight, that seek out discussions and social events like bees hunt out pollen. I’ve listened to them read their stories to enamoured audiences, intonating voices and cracking jokes as if the process was a simple as buttering toast.
I … however … am not even close to being one of them.
I’d like to blame the issue on my parent’s old-fashioned beliefs that children should be seen and not heard. Unfortunately one has only to look at my sibling and take note of the man’s easy mannerisms and ability to connect with people to know my childhood probably had little, if nothing, to do with it.
Some of us are just born internalizers. The best conversations we ever have are between the characters we create. The most romantic litanies we’ve ever spoken have been whispered while writing them out on the scraps of paper we shoved into desks or glove-boxes when the intendee wasn’t looking. It’s not that we don’t like people; it’s that we have a lot of trouble expressing ourselves without filtering it through our fingers first.
Mind you, once we get to know you … well … may I apologize in advance? Let’s just say there’s probably a reason Mom Nature gives some of us that need to strain through our thoughts before presenting them. As such, it takes us a really long time to feel comfortable enough with someone to risk making ourselves feel like complete and utter buffoons. On more than one occasion I’ve looked over at my partner, in mid-verbiage-spew and seen that *look* on his face. The one that says: baby, it’s a good thing I love you.
Without that filter, see, things tend to well … they kind of … lack structure. Sometimes they even seem a little pointless; occasionally they’ll even drift off without a proper ending …
In case you’ve missed it along the way… check out Înflori, now available with Less Than Three Press.